{download Textbooks} Lost SoulsAuthor Poppy Z. Brite – Circuitwiringdiagram.co

5 Would She Even Recognize Me Stars I think it s time I try to review this novel This will likely be a disaster I still recall the taste of your tears.Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears.My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore.Scraping through my head till I don t want to sleep any Like so many young people before me, I always thought that sixteen was going to be my year I was absolutely convinced that my life was going to irrevocably change within those 365 days 5 Would She Even Recognize Me Stars I think it s time I try to review this novel This will likely be a disaster I still recall the taste of your tears.Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears.My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore.Scraping through my head till I don t want to sleep any Like so many young people before me, I always thought that sixteen was going to be my year I was absolutely convinced that my life was going to irrevocably change within those 365 days And it did My life changed exponentially that year, it just didn t change quite the way I always dreamt it would I was at a friend s party when he walked into the room Ruggedly handsome, with startling blue eyes, slightly crooked front teeth and a shock of dark brown hair artfully spiked up in the fashion of the day A singer in a local metal band he had tattoos, scars and an almost palpable aura of anger He fascinated me, and when he turned those gorgeous blue eyes my way he would change my life forever It was this beautiful, angry young man who first put a copy of Lost Souls by Poppy Z Brite into my trusting hands Like Jess s ex fianc this was his favourite book and he talked about it constantly In great sleep depriving bites, I devoured it This deranged novel about a teenage boy who meets a trio of vampires and becomes consumed by them I don t remember feeling the irony at that time, but in hindsight it s undeniable, that this larger than life creature would put a book about a troubled young man named Nothing into the hands of a sixteen year old girl who felt like nothing You always were the one to show me howBack then I couldn t do the things that I can do now.This thing is slowly taking me apart.Grey would be the color if I had a heart I could never figure out what he saw in me back then When I looked in the mirror all I saw was a reflection of disappointment in resigned grey eyes, limp blonde hair and too wide hips Here was this God of a man I taste bile in my throat even thinking this now but at the time it was true telling me he loved me a hundred times a day and that I was his everything This man who turned heads in every room we entered, who commanded so much attention that there was rarely any left for anyone else And he had this way of making me feel guilty if anyone paidattention to me than him, he was poisonously jealous Any time a boy talked to me, even if he was a mutual friend of ours, he would become crazed Quizzing me about it at the best of times Screaming into my face and punching walls at it s worst I fell in love with Lost Souls the same way I fell in love with him, entirely and without precedent This dark, deranged parody of love Consuming because it is both foreign and familiar It s a story as old as time Obsession Destruction Dark monsters that come out of the woodwork when you are too exhausted to fight them, so instead you embrace them Call them lovers and friends, when really they are eating you alive Just like the darkness inside you I don t think I ve done a very good job of explaining why I love this novel, and always will I think rather I may have inadvertently explained why I SHOULD probably hate this book And all the poison and toxicity that even thinking of it brings back, like a dark blue bruise that is slowly fading to greens and yellows along the edges but still hurts like hell when you stare too hard at it But I don t hate it and I can t hate it anythan I can hate the sad eyed girl with the fake smile staring back at me from pictures I keep in a box in my closet This book is a part of me, and maybe that part is a little ugly and a lot terrifying but I can t deny that whenever I see this book on my shelf I run my finger along its binding and remind myself of that innocent sixteen year old girl And what happened when she let someone make her their every thing Night is the hardest time to be alive, and four a.m knows all my secrets In this place it seems like such a shame.Though it all looks different now,I know it s still the sameEverywhere I look you re all I see.Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to beLyrics from Something I Can Never Have by Nine Inch Nails I have the feeling I simply discovered Brite too lateHad I been 13 when I read this and a bisexual, alcoholic orphan , I might have connected with it in ways that my 22 year old self just wasn t ableBut I hope not It s one thing for genre fiction writers to develop a formula for writing their books we see this all the time, not just in horror, but a fortiori in mysteries and thrillers , but Poppy seems to have developed a formula for writing chapters, even pages All driving must t I have the feeling I simply discovered Brite too lateHad I been 13 when I read this and a bisexual, alcoholic orphan , I might have connected with it in ways that my 22 year old self just wasn t ableBut I hope not It s one thing for genre fiction writers to develop a formula for writing their books we see this all the time, not just in horror, but a fortiori in mysteries and thrillers , but Poppy seems to have developed a formula for writing chapters, even pages All driving must take place under the influence of alcohol and all alcohol must either be chartreuse or absinthe , especially when the character behind the wheel is underage all sex must be homosexual or non consensual and preferably both every scene must contain reference to either David Bowie, or an obvious goth band Bauhaus, Sisters of Mercy.I finished reading this book because it meant so much to a very dear friend of minebut suffice it to say, it s been and will continue to be my last foray into Poppy Z Brite s oeuvre A crazy, almost plotless explosion of violence, wanderlust, and sexual energy, written when the author was nineteen and possibly a little nuts A mixture of vampires and rootless young people roam around the south, meet up, split up, meet up again, kill each other, have sex, kill each other while having sex, get lonely, do drugs, and so on She now mostly disowns it, which only makes itfun to read as far as I m concerned Kind of like reading somebody s diary, or seeing their dreams If yo A crazy, almost plotless explosion of violence, wanderlust, and sexual energy, written when the author was nineteen and possibly a little nuts A mixture of vampires and rootless young people roam around the south, meet up, split up, meet up again, kill each other, have sex, kill each other while having sex, get lonely, do drugs, and so on She now mostly disowns it, which only makes itfun to read as far as I m concerned Kind of like reading somebody s diary, or seeing their dreams If you don t like it I guess I can t argue with you, but if you happen to read this before her later stuff don t let it turn you off of her completely, as her other work is very different Buddy read with the lovely Sh3lly and lovely Kristin on May 9.I think I might be ready to review this book I m up for a personal review I think.My human bestie counts this book as her favorite, so when I saw it on sale for 2 on a visit to 2nd Charles, I snagged it.Because it is my human bestie s favorite book, she and I have had many conversations about why What it is about this particular book that is so important to her and why she always looks back on it Buddy read with the lovely Sh3lly and lovely Kristin on May 9.I think I might be ready to review this book I m up for a personal review I think.My human bestie counts this book as her favorite, so when I saw it on sale for 2 on a visit to 2nd Charles, I snagged it.Because it is my human bestie s favorite book, she and I have had many conversations about why What it is about this particular book that is so important to her and why she always looks back on it with that reverence reserved for only the best of the best, those rare books that somehow help define who we are or who we were or give our souls shapes and colors and flair For me, that book is The Stranger, for Karly, it is this one.And I cannot say that this book affected me the same way it affected her, just as she can t say the same about my favorite But I do understandof why this book is her favorite And in a weird way, this book affected me similarly.This is a vampire book An old school vampire book These vampires do not sparkle They do not wear black lace and ruby amulets They do not don mullets and ride around Santa Barbara on motorcycles They do not double as zombies They do not turn into bats or live in Transylvania They don t play in rock bands with snakes around their necks No brooding No capes No haunted houses.These vampires break into people s lives and wreak all sorts of havoc These vampires kill without mercy and without remorse They drink blood and green chartreuse and party and fuck anything and everything These vampires truly have no souls There is nothing but emptiness Nothing.Then these vampires meet a young runaway named Nothing At first he is simply there, an easy target A kid full of shame and self loathing who epitomizes the early 90s goth scene He doesn t fit in with his family or his friends He feels so different and has no idea why When the vampires Molochai, Twig, and their enigmatic leader Zillah meet Nothing, they only have their next meal on their minds But maybe this young, mysteriously beautiful, dark soul hasin common with them than they think And Nothing finally feels like he belongs to someone, for the first time in his short life He and Zillah form a bond that is simultaneously beautiful and repellant All consuming and destructive, and totally vile, but also there is something there that shines briefly And I can t really say anything else because spoilers, but those of you who have read this book know exactly what I m talking about.And that relationship between a vampire and a young goth kid kinda sums up this book It is totally vile There are some downright disgusting things at play here Loathsome and foul Things that no self respecting girl likes to read about But as I read, these things became..lighter, less foul Still raw, but somehow less so And that s something I love in my books, my TV, my movies, my music That fine line between two strong energies Once it happened here, this book naturally started to pick up for me and show me its magic Because this book is a vampire book, but itsthan a vampire book It s not really horror or paranormal It s a book about identity About finding yourself Making mistakes and living with them It s about those places deep inside you that you don t like people to see That darkness which lives in each of us It s about those who succumb to that darkness and those who rise above it Each character has a darkness and a light inside of them and it became fascinating to see which characters embraced the darkness and which characters embraced the light And the darkness and the light meant so muchthan just good and bad and those blurry lines that realization created was the meat and potatoes of this story.And these themes that this book embraces really spoke to me as I was reading When I got about 50 pages in, something about this story seemed familiar Almost too familiar But I knew I had never read this story before I was texting Karly asking her if it had become a movie or a TV show or a stupid TV miniseries I kept reading but couldn t figure out how I knew it About a third of the way through I was introduced to a character, a very unique albino character, and before I even got the story about this character I knew how this character would meet his end How in the hell does that happen That s when I realized that not only is this my best friend s favorite book, it was also the favorite book of the man who almost became my husband And he used to talk about it all the time which is why it became so familiar to me It was the book he read when he was in school and throughout his life It was a book that epitomized his childhood, and he is a man who has struggled with that inner darkness and his inner demons his entire life So reading the remainder of this novel knowing what it meant to the man I used to love most in this world was a bit cathartic and a bit weird but also eye opening So though I found parts of this story repugnant and awful, this story forced me to read it through the glasses of the woman I was a decade ago when he and I were engaged I was the art student who listened to Type O Negative and Bauhaus records on repeat I smoked hash out of a homemade grafittied steamroller called The Stinger I drank and did pills every day I wore tons of dark eyeliner and read The Stranger I had no idea who I was nor who I wanted to be And I was set to marry a man with evendemons than I had And in retrospect, I know now that our relationship was doomed to fail even before his drug addiction tore us both apart This book helped me recognize the darkness that was inside him the entire time He was not a character like Ghost, who retained his cracked but pure inner beauty, but rather Ann, who took her experiences and let them turn her Ghost is the only character in this book who epitomized hope Life struck him down, and he was a character who wassensitive than most And Ghost at first seemed fragile, but had a strength in him that every other character lacked Ann started out strong, but let her inner demons control her, causing her to make bad choices, choices that in the end, forced the demons to eat her alive This part of the story broke my heart, because it was too reminiscent of the demise of the person I used to be and the life I used to live.So yeah, this book It is a story that opened up something inside of me Something raw and hidden Something I wasn t expecting This book embraces that whole 90s goth culture perfectly, but also captures the culture of New Orleans, a dark, seedy New Orleans that hides in the shadows So that dark and twisty girl from ten years ago eats this for breakfast lunch and dinner But the girl I am today probably would have blown it off So this 4 stars is built of nostalgia and darkness and memories of a life already lived I will always remember this book and keep it with me always, but I most likely will never read it again I have it stashed somewhere with that past life, and that is where it needs to stay.4 bittersweet stars This book has haunted my waking hours since the first time I read it as a troubled teen I needed someone to relate to in those days, I needed to know that I was not alone in this crazy, fucked up world, and then I met Nothing I traveled with him on his journey, meeting Zillah a perfect, deadly, damnable, heartbreaking, irresistible bastard and fell as much in love with him as Nothing did, living vicariously through him as he drank blood, smoked opium, and savored the taste of home on Zilla This book has haunted my waking hours since the first time I read it as a troubled teen I needed someone to relate to in those days, I needed to know that I was not alone in this crazy, fucked up world, and then I met Nothing I traveled with him on his journey, meeting Zillah a perfect, deadly, damnable, heartbreaking, irresistible bastard and fell as much in love with him as Nothing did, living vicariously through him as he drank blood, smoked opium, and savored the taste of home on Zillah s tongue I met Christian and saw into the darkness of his soul, peering through his eyes to witness the melancholy of eternal existence with only your memories to keep you company I loved him too, much as I loved Ghost for being a young man with an old soul, fair haired and extraordinary, willing to sacrifice everything for the bits of ordinary he had to hold onto, like Steve Steve, the brash, crude musician I didn t like him anythan I liked Anne, she in all her desperation to find something beautiful to leech onto I wanted to feel for her, but honestly couldn t blame Zillah when he tossed her aside, having no use for her once her body had indulged his hedonistic pleasures Zillah, with eyes green as limes, as green as the last drop of Chartreuse in the bottle The vision of those eyes will haunt me forever, and as long as they do, this is a novel I will keep coming back to, for comfort, and a reminder that we are all just a bunch of lost souls wandering around this lonely planet Everywhere you go these days, you can t help but hear all the kids talking about Twilight about how the vampires are so groundbreaking, how they can walk about during the day, about how their fangs don t show until they need them, how the angst of these teen vampires just speaks to them Now, I haven t read Twilight, but I do have a few acquaintances significantly younger than I who can not get their fill of the brooding teen bloodsuckers, and I ve heardthan my fill of the plots or the Everywhere you go these days, you can t help but hear all the kids talking about Twilight about how the vampires are so groundbreaking, how they can walk about during the day, about how their fangs don t show until they need them, how the angst of these teen vampires just speaks to them Now, I haven t read Twilight, but I do have a few acquaintances significantly younger than I who can not get their fill of the brooding teen bloodsuckers, and I ve heardthan my fill of the plots or the groundbreaking nature of the books Except, you know what None of it sounds particularly groundbreaking to me, and I have to point out to the fans of this newest vampiric incarnation that much of what they are describing has been done before and from what excerpts I ve read of Twilight and the various literary reviews done better.Since Stoker first published Dracula in 1897, vampires have fascinated readers and writers alike, and vampire fiction has gone through every cycle of life and death imaginable ever since The vampire literary genre has been declared deadtimes than Elvis has been sighted in roadside diners And just when you count pun entirely intended the bloodsuckers out, someone slips through and breathes new life into the old beast George R.R Martin wrote the fascinating Fevre Dream and in the process re imagined what everyone thought of as vampires And of course Anne Rice, in her overly verbose way, created one of the literary world s most enduring vampires in Lestat from her wildly successful Vampire Chronicles series of novels And then the genre once again lapsed into a coma, every vampire thereafter becoming a deeply affected, brooding, depressive, sexually ambiguous prettyboy who tended to whine over every little problem being undead brought along Once again, the vampire became anemic in its portrayal, and the world again decried that there could be nothing new And then, in 1992, up and coming short story horror writer Poppy Z Brite surprised everyone by spinning the vampire lore on its head with her remarkable debut novel, Lost Souls.The plot of Lost Souls really is very simple Zillah and his vampire cohorts Molochai and Twin, venture into an off the beaten path bar in New Orleans where Zillah becomes enad with a young girl, brooding and dressed all in black, who has been waiting for the vampires any vampires to come for her After a few nights of passion, Zillah and his pals disappear into the night, leaving the girl devastated that they hadn t taken her with them, or better yet, turned her into one of them She returns to the bar night after night, week after week and month after month, as Zillah s baby grows in her stomach, and the bar s kindly owner Christian who knows a thing or two about vampires looks after her When the baby finally tears its way through her body, the girl s life ends and Christian leaves the young baby on the doorstep of a family as far from New Orleans as he can manage Flash forward 15 years, and that child has grown into a young man, someone who doesn t know why he is different from everyone else, why his heart is filled with a longing to find where he truly belongs His name is Jason, but he calls himself Nothing because that is what he feels like in his parent s Wonder Bread world, and that was the name given him in the note left pinned to his blanket when he was left at his adoptive parents door His name is Nothing Care for him and he will bring you luck It is when Nothing discovers the note and the fact that he was adopted that he decides to find who he truly is, where he truly belongs and he goes on a road trip headed well, headed wherever the road takes him.As Nothing goes on his journey, we also catch up again with Zillah his crew as they drink chartreuse and eat Ho Hos and revel in the joy of being young and eternal In short, they relish being vampires No regrets, no brooding angst here We also get a third road trip as we meet Steve a shit kicker from South Carolina and his best friend Ghost a painfully thin young man with psychic abilities as the two do a mini tour as Lost Souls, a rock band that has developed a cult like following amongst the disaffected and outcast goth youth And one of those youths just happens to be Nothing It is then that we realize that these three different road trips will all come crashing together, and we re fascinated to see just how Brite manages it.What made Brite s vampires so groundbreaking is the blend of the gothic scene, vampiric lore, and honest to god real people with real depth and emotion Brite threw out most of the vampire clich s, however Brite s boys have no problem with sunlight, and their fangs have been bred out of them, forcing them to file their teeth into sharp points, and in a really nice turn the appealing bad boy Zillah is not some tall lanky creature and his cohorts are not ultra cunning Zillah is short, but still enigmatic and charming, and Molochai and Twig well, let s just say that the vampiric chandelier has had brighter bulbs The vampires here of course love blood, but they revel just as easily in the haze of alcohol and drugs and the taste of each others bodies And Brite did something else that hadn t been done before.she didn t mince words one bit when it came to her character s sexuality Unlike Rice who cloaked her characters in a mist of homoeroticism, Brite went balls out and made her vampires bi sexual or gay, the body being one of the extreme pleasures in life that shouldn t be discriminated against Brite who has admittedly never read Ann Rice, despite claims by many that she had to be influenced by her also threw out the verbosity that had choked the genre, making her prose clean and crisp and evocative She created not only the feelings of her characters in precise ways, but also used her words to capture the sights and smells and essence of her settings, each locale becoming a character in its own right She veered into purple prose upon occasion, but the images she created were stunning and utterly true in every way.But the characters she created are the heart of the story Nothing s longing to learn who he is and where he comes from is palpable It s not so very different from the feelings most adopted children feel when they lean their parents are not who they believed them to be The childlike joy in the vampires Molochai and Twig is infectious, as is the viciousness and pride Zillah takes in being omnipotent, or so he thinks And while all the characters resonated with readers, none were quite as appealing as Steve and Ghost There is so much love between these two men and so strong is the need for them to be there for, and to protect, one another, that their relationship transcend brotherhood and friendship The dynamic is so utterly real that one even began to wonder if Steve and Ghost were everto one another than just friends The relationship Brite created between these two men was erection inducing for a lot of us We wanted to see these two together, but this was not some calculated trick of Brite s She simply wrote two men who would be lost souls without each other, and we the reader just wanted and in some cases needed it to go beyond that It was masterful, and years later because the topic was such a fervent one amongst Brite s fans she would answer the question as to whether Steve and Ghost s relationship was everthan just friends in a limited edition chapbook no longer available.In the end, Brite re wrote the book on vampires She blended splatterpunk and the gothic scene and vampire mythology into an excellent character study about finding who you are and how you fit in It s a story of self discovery and the building of families and for once it was a story that spoke to and included my kind, gay people, in an unabashed, unapologetic way There was nothing wrong with being gay anythan there was anything wrong with being a vampire it all comes down to each person and how they react and treat others.Unfortunately, many stood on Brite s shoulder s after Lost Souls, and the literary world was so glutted with vampire meets goth rock novels, that those new to the novel often find it clich But, as I like to remind people, when Brite wrote the work, most of this was new and exciting It has only become clich because of the pale imitations that followed So when your niece or nephew comes to you to rave about Twilight, tell them they don t know Nothing or his father or his favorite band, Lost Souls, all of whom have been there and done that likely before they were born.Originally reviewed for Uniquely Pleasurable This was the third time I read this book, and the third time I developed an overwelming desire to move to New Orleans pre Katrina obviously in order to spend the rest of my days drinking absinthe and stumbling around the French Quarter in search of all the wonderfully sensual alluring vampires of both Anne Rice and Poppy Z Brite s novels Of course I didn t do that, but the mental image conjoured up by this novel couldn t be a stronger draw It is the first of PzB s novels to feature the love This was the third time I read this book, and the third time I developed an overwelming desire to move to New Orleans pre Katrina obviously in order to spend the rest of my days drinking absinthe and stumbling around the French Quarter in search of all the wonderfully sensual alluring vampires of both Anne Rice and Poppy Z Brite s novels Of course I didn t do that, but the mental image conjoured up by this novel couldn t be a stronger draw It is the first of PzB s novels to feature the loveable twosome of Steve and Ghost and it is the only novel to feature the fabulous character of Nothing Disillusioned teenager Nothing feels he has nothing in common with his birth parents, and on running away to meet his heros, the band Lost Souls , he finds himself travelling in a van with three individuals who don t find his liking for drinking blood strange at all..I would go on, but this is a book that I could quite easily write pages on So all I ll say now is that if you only ever read one horror novel in your lifetime, make it this one I m sorry my lovely vampire ninja, I tried, I really did I loved Ghost, felt for Steve, but the the rest, the rest were either boring, crazy, or flat Overall, I kept getting bored and skeeved out I m a pansy But incest, just no I honestly didn t think I would make it after view spoiler Wallace described thrusting up into his daughter hide spoiler or even after the Albino But it isthan that, I didn t feel that there was any point to the gross and gory parts other than for shock I m sorry my lovely vampire ninja, I tried, I really did I loved Ghost, felt for Steve, but the the rest, the rest were either boring, crazy, or flat Overall, I kept getting bored and skeeved out I m a pansy But incest, just no I honestly didn t think I would make it after view spoiler Wallace described thrusting up into his daughter hide spoiler or even after the Albino But it isthan that, I didn t feel that there was any point to the gross and gory parts other than for shock factor, which I find annoying So now we are two for two on my goyles favorites and me not being a fan I m not sure why they put up with me Mea culpa At a club in Missing Mile, NC the children of the night gather, dressed in black, looking for acceptance Among them are Ghost, who sees what others do not Ann, longing for love, and Jason, whose real name is Nothing, newly awakened to an ancient, deathless truth about his father, and himselfOthers are coming to Missing Mile tonight Three beautiful, hip vagabonds Molochai, Twig, and the seductive Zillah whose eyes are as green as limes are on their own lost journey slaking their ancient thirst for blood, looking for supple young fleshThey find it in Nothing and Ann, leading them on a mad, illicit road trip south to New Orleans Over miles of dark highway, Ghost pursues, his powers guiding him on a journey to reach his destiny, to save Ann from her new companions, to save Nothing from himself Stephen King endorsed the entire Dell Abyss Horror line Here is his blurb Thank you for introducing me to the remarkable line of novels currently being issued under Dell s Abyss imprint I have given a great many blurbs over the last twelve years or so, but this one marks two firsts first unsolicited blurb I called you and the first time I have blurbed a whole line of books In terms of quality, production, and plain old story telling reliability that s the bottom line, isn t it , Dell s Stephen King endorsed the entire Dell Abyss Horror line Here is his blurb Thank you for introducing me to the remarkable line of novels currently being issued under Dell s Abyss imprint I have given a great many blurbs over the last twelve years or so, but this one marks two firsts first unsolicited blurb I called you and the first time I have blurbed a whole line of books In terms of quality, production, and plain old story telling reliability that s the bottom line, isn t it , Dell s new line is amazingly satisfyinga rare and wonderful bargain for readers I hope to be looking into the Abyss for a long time to come I read this book twice I loved it so much It was the first book I d read by Poppy Z Brite and wasn t my last Highly recommended especially for vampire fans